Honestly as a guy it doesn’t really matter if you’re tall, good looking, have interesting hobbies etc if at the baseline you’re not the type to pursue a woman
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Honestly as a guy it doesn’t really matter if you’re tall, good looking, have interesting hobbies etc if at the baseline you’re not the type to pursue a woman
men being scared of women in 2026 is beyond me
First, while I agree there’s not as much to be scared about as men typically say, it’s probably the most reasonable for men to be scared of women in this day and age than any other time lol Second, not approaching all the time does not imply someone is scared, that’s the mindset that keeps our still really narrow minded view of masculinity and what is deemed confident and attractive in it
When one says pursuit it is almost always in reference to men pursuing women, which in and of itself simply brings problems that are inextricable from patriarchal expectations. It wouldn’t be if it wasn’t a gendered expectation in this way. Modern dating was essentially invented in the very early 1900s as indirect prostitution; the idea of a man taking a woman out (that he possibly doesn’t even know) being his marker of confidence is a construct that we have created
Also comparing Victorian era women’s rights to modern day is like a coughing baby to a hydrogen bomb lol. But I also think that men way overblow how ‘in danger’ they’d be if they approached a woman nowadays. The problem doesn’t lie in that, but in perpetuating gendered expectations that leads to frustration of everyone involved
Yeah, and we can start just by viewing the hypocrisy within ourselves. If someone is making you feel good, you need to think about why they’re doing what they’re doing. And often the answer isn’t just ‘why won’t these people keep doing the same thing in making things convenient for me but with an innocent motive this time?’ But ofc like you said there are also men who feel ‘emasculated’ and shit, I’m not just trying to cast blame on women here, especially when this is really all patriarchy
Yeah, I wasn’t talking about Victorian era when i talked about the dating thing. Calling culture was markedly different from what we have now. Also about the wage gap thing, that coincided with prostitution concepts to create dating. The wage gap actually heavily ‘justified’ itself on the premise that the man you’re dating will pay for costs anyway- dating was already a thing by this point, when women realized they didn’t have to be managed by men to make money and instead could’sell themselves’
Why should the 1990s and earlier culture be standard if it is based on outdated concepts and an even more patriarchal society than we have today lol? Also prostitution by definition is intentional and not recreational
umm why do you say that? If anything, I would say around the victorian era when women were fighting for autonomy had more men afraid to approach them than in modern times. I guess because you’re a man you know about that than I could ever. oh and I don’t consider my view narrow-minded in the slightest. Aside from not wanting a partner or being attracted to the same sex— what other reason could there be for the growth of loneliness within our generation but lack of pursuit?
So your point here is that both men and women should be comfortable pursuing the other? I don’t disagree with that, yet changing that expectation seems rather impossible— as you mentioned. For example, refer to women who propose to their partner. Often, you see these women get shamed for “begging” for the man to “choose” her. Men in turn feel de-masculinized.
Your point about indirect prostitution couldn’t be more off. During the Victorian era, there was no such thing as dating, but courtship. Men would come to the home of a woman they had an interest in, and hospitality is provided by that family. Yet, women would still hint interest in several ways. In the early 1900s, that shifted to dating, yes. Because women earned less, it was up to men to cover the outing. That’s not prostitution, it’s circumstance.
This changed with the rise of urbanization, not like the social constructs that exist today. Nowadays, situationships/hookups has made what was once intentional—recreational. I’d actually claim that this modern dating is prostitution, but the 1990s and earlier should be standard.
(I put sell themselves in quotes bc the term obviously has baggage and I didn’t m mean it necessarily sexually nor non-consensually, but it still had the transactional nature)
Also these texts can’t be long bc of limits so I’ll spam even more just to add context to something— I don’t mean to imply that dating created the wage gap, but that it made sure that the wage gap existed as long as it did. Now that it’s mostly bridged we still keep expectations that are just convenient toward women without thought as to why anymore and why a guy would always pay for first dates in this day and age for example
that one friend that’s too woke